Increase Between-Session Practice in Individual Therapy

"Hey, I've noticed that you haven't followed through on the practices we've talked about, and I'm curious about what might be coming up for you. Would you be open to discussing the barriers and problem-solving around this? I might mention that it's helpful to set reminders up if it's a memory issue: "Would it help if we set up phone reminders during your session?" I think leading with curiosity is helpful in any context. It's usually something that can be addressed and problem-solved. It also opens up honest conversations about the usefulness of the practice and where they're at in terms of readiness and willingness to follow through on those practices. I normalize talking about issues by being feedback-oriented, which is something that I educate them about during the intake assessment to establish a norm and culture. If a certain practice isn't resonating with them, we can shift gears. We don't have to keep trying something that isn't helpful for them."

Not a therapist — I build a platform for inner work, so I come at this from a different angle. But the missed-practice problem is something I've thought about a lot, because it's essentially why I built Olive.

My take: if someone isn't doing the work between sessions, the most useful question isn't about accountability. It's about whether the work felt worth doing. Chores don't get done. Breakthroughs do.

The reframe that changed things for me was stopping thinking about between-session practice as maintenance and starting thinking about it as discovery. People will skip a worksheet. They won't skip something that might genuinely surprise them about themselves. The difference isn't discipline — it's whether the work has any chance of producing a moment where they think "oh, I didn't know that about me."

And real discovery — the moment someone sees something true about themselves they have never seen before — produces something that feels closer to awe than insight. There's a quality to it that is genuinely thrilling. The "oh" that is bigger than expected. The sudden understanding of a pattern that has been running for twenty years. People do not miss appointments with that feeling. They come back for it.

It's also why I built Olive the way I did — not as a between-session homework tool, but as a space where the conversation itself is the breakthrough. If someone has to force themselves to show up, something about the design is wrong. The goal was to make the inner work feel like something you want to do, not something you owe your therapist.

In individual therapy, I approach missed between-session practices with curiosity instead of correction. Rather than assuming resistance or lack of motivation, I explore what may have gotten in the way, because avoidance, overwhelm, fear, or even nervous system protection may be part of the pattern. One reframe I often use is: "This is not about proving you did the work; it is about noticing what your follow through is teaching us." That shift helps clients move out of shame and into reflection. I also make the practices small enough to feel doable, such as one thought check in, one grounding exercise, or one intentional pause before reacting. Before the session ends, I leave a few minutes for clients to ask clarifying questions, clear up confusion, and identify when and how they will practice before our next session. I have found that clear expectations, compassion, and small agreements improve follow through while maintaining the therapeutic container.

Create a brief contract that states the practice, the time, and the number of days it will happen. Write it in plain words and sign it to mark a clear choice. Add a self-chosen consequence for a miss and a small reward for a win, both safe and fair.

Share the contract with a trusted person or the therapist to raise follow-through. Review results weekly and update the terms so the promise stays realistic. Draft the first contract today and set the first check-in date now.

Build a short ritual that comes right before practice so the mind shifts into focus. Use the same cue each time, such as a breath, a sip of tea, or a set place and time. Keep the ritual simple and brief so it invites action rather than delay.

Link it to a stable daily event, like after breakfast or before bed, to anchor the habit. When the cue happens, start the first tiny step so momentum grows fast. Design your ritual today and test it for one week.

Turn the assignment into a skill drill during the session until the steps feel smooth and quick. Role-play likely moments, speak the words out loud, and time the steps to build speed. Reduce friction by setting the cue, the exact place, and the first action that starts practice.

Troubleshoot barriers on the spot and script a short plan for what to do when stuck. End with a brief recap that the client can read in under a minute. Pick one assignment and rehearse it three times in the next session to lock it in.

Turn practice into a simple game that rewards steady effort. Assign points to small steps, such as opening the worksheet, completing one prompt, or logging a mood check. Set clear levels that mark progress and make streaks visible with a daily tracker.

Keep rules easy and fair so wins feel close and honest, and add gentle resets after a missed day to prevent giving up. Share scores in session to spark brief feedback and plan the next level. Start by choosing one point system and one streak goal for the week, and begin today.

Use incentives that match personal values so practice feels worth the effort. Tie rewards to consistency, not perfection, such as a planned break, a favorite show, or a small comfort after practice days. Set clear rules for when a reward unlocks, and track progress so the link stays strong and visible.

Keep rewards ethical and sustainable, and avoid anything that harms health, money, or key goals. Discuss rewards in session to adjust them when motivation shifts over time. Choose one meaningful reward, set a clear practice target, and commit to earning it this week.