Counselors Share Ways to Reset Between Emotionally Intense Sessions

Some of my hardest moments are sitting with a family after a devastating diagnosis, and I can't carry that into the next appointment. I build a few minutes between clients on purpose. I step out of the room, drink some water, and take three slow breaths. The practice that has made the biggest difference is writing one line in my notes about what I want to carry forward and one thing I'm leaving behind. It gives the session a clear ending in my head, so the next client doesn't get a distracted version of me.

On heavier days I take a short walk outside before the next person arrives. It sounds small, but it's the difference between being half there and being fully present. I also protect my schedule so I'm not stacking several emotionally heavy sessions back to back when I can avoid it. Clients can tell when you're present, and showing up well for each person is part of the care.

Resetting as a clinician to prepare for the next client is crucial, especially after a particularly emotionally intense session. The most meaningful difference as a practitioner is setting aside the time between sessions to solely focus on myself and checking in with what I need so that I come into the next session in a way that I feel good about. A specific technique I use is telling myself anything I need at this time is valid and writing down anything that I want to make more space for later, such as something I want to consult with another practitioner about. Taking care of self and other is a constant "balancing" that clinicians are doing on a regular basis and between-session practice is a key pivot point.

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In addiction treatment, some sessions stay with you: a relapse story, a family in crisis, a patient talking about wanting to die. Going straight into the next session carries that weight into the room.

My reset takes three minutes. First, I write one line for myself: what I am still carrying from that session. Putting it on paper tells my mind it does not need to hold it. Then I step outside or walk the corridor, away from my desk and phone, and take a few slow breaths. It sounds small, but it marks a clear border between one person's story and the next. The next patient deserves to meet me fresh, not still half inside someone else's crisis.

I am a breathwork facilitator who runs emotionally intense sessions and see in my practice how my own regulation is where quality of presence actually lives.

Between emotionally dense sessions, three things need to clear. First, the parasympathetic depletion that comes from co-regulating someone else's nervous system for an hour. Second, the sympathetic activation that gets picked up when a session has a strong emotional charge. Third, the cognitive load of holding the client's narrative.

The protocol I use has three parts, and it takes about seven to ten minutes. First, five to seven minutes of coherent breathing at a five-second inhale and five-second exhale, through the nose, seated. This brings heart rate variability back into resonance frequency and restores parasympathetic tone. Second, physical discharge. For me that looks like a hundred jumps in place, or shaking out my arms and legs for ninety seconds. Movement clears the sympathetic activation and the stress hormones the session left in the body. Third, if there is any way to step outside, sunlight for two minutes.

I use this between any client where the session was heavy, where I felt myself leaning in to hold the space, or where I notice my shoulders carrying the session as I walk toward the next one. If I do not have ten minutes, I take five and do the breath plus the movement.

What this has done for me, is restore the presence I want to bring to the next person. These breaks are an investment for the quality of attention the next person deserves and my own health.

After an emotionally intense session, I take a brief reset to clear what is still "running in the background" so I can meet the next person with fresh attention. Most of the time a quick break from the computer screen by grounding in my bare feet outside and throwing the ball for my dog, even for 5 minutes will help me reset. Depending on the level of intensity, I can do a focused breathwork like 2 minutes of box breathing. A snack or cup of herbal tea can also help my brain and physical body reset. Find what works for you and try different things. Remembering that you are human too and need to recharge is important for all your clients.

I call this the "doorframe rule." Before a new session, I pause at the doorframe and complete three steps in about ninety seconds. First, I silently identify the primary feeling left by the previous session, such as heaviness, worry, or frustration. Naming the feeling lets me set it aside instead of carrying it forward. Then, I take three slow breaths, making sure each exhale is longer than the inhale. This signals to my nervous system that the intense part has ended.

Finally, I review the next client's name and ask myself, "What does this person need from me today?" This last step has had the greatest impact on my work. It shifts my focus from the previous session to the individual I am about to meet. This ensures each client receives my full attention. The process is brief enough to use even on the busiest days, which is essential. A reset skipped when overloaded is not truly a reset.

After a heavy session, the practice that has made the most difference for me is the three-minute breathing space, from Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (Segal, Z. V., Williams, J. M. G., & Teasdale, J. D., 2013). It's short enough to fit between back-to-back appointments, and it's structured enough that I can do it even when my mind is still in the last session.

It involves three simple steps: 1) Mindful awareness to what is arising in my mind and body including thoughts, physical sensations, and feelings, 2) Gently shift my attention to the physical sensation of my breath noticing any parts of the body that shift as I breath naturally, and 3) Open my awareness back out to my whole body: my feet on the floor, my posture, my hands, my face.

What I value most is that it doesn't ask me to push the previous session away or pretend I'm unaffected. Being moved by our clients' pain is part of the work.

Another practice that I might integrate into the three-minute breathing space, is to bring to mind the visualization of an open shelf and placing my experience related to the previous session on that shelf. It is purposefully open because I am not compartmentalizing it, but rather, setting it mindfully aside with the plan to examine it later.

I always get up and move. I walk up two flight of stairs, while I get out of my head and into my body. Sometimes I do a few wall push ups, nothing dramatic. Just enough along with deep breathing to leave the session behind as I produce calming neurochemicals through movement.

Meditation is one way that I stay grounded, and I also enjoy lighting incense or a scented candle in order to mentally reset.